I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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