I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
home. puking in laundry basket.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
