Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Randomize