I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
This baby is an asshole
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
