Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
