after a month anything with tits is on the radar
this just has baby written all over it
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
