Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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