I'm pants shitting drunk right now
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
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