I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Come share oat with me in your robe
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
