She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
This house was built for laser tag.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
i think i just lost a toe
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
