STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Randomize
