There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
