Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
