eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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