I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
