wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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