So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize