Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
My vagina is officially offended.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
