I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
