i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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