just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
