I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
