party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
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