my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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