I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
