Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
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