dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize