i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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