Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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