Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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