love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Never underestimate the power of titties
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
