I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Randomize
