i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
