I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I want a musical about memes.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
