that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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