Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
