Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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