Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
