To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Randomize
