grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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