So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Randomize