You're a womanizer and a bitch.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
