im gay
i know
yea but for you.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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