It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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