My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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