Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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