His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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