well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
