Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize