Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
