I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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