Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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