My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
