Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I'm gonna fight the coyote
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
