Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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