Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
