I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
