Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
