Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
