Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Who died my cat blue again?
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
