I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
