ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
