Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
