were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
